Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My vagina just recognized that song.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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