Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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