Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
