With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
