Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
