just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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