East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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