I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
