everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
