would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
