would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
