honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
