Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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