i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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