the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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