it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
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Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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