oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
