By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
