I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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