He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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