I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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