Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
