dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
