THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
