Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
