all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize