I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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