READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
