just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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