i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
