i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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