I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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