If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
