the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Quick, to the slutcave!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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