Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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