We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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