There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
