I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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