He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
