if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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