Duck Duck Cougar?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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