I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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