Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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