She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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