whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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