after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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