she was so not down for the gang bang
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
