ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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