we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
