I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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