Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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