Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
