Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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