end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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