I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
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You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
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My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
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