He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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