Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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