You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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