PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
false alarm, still single
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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